I Do Not Want To Be A Man.



I recently came across this article - Why We Need To Stop Telling Women They Are Equal To Men by Amee Misra. You know me naa, I jumped right in. I totally get her and I understand where she is coming from.I agree women should be told about realities. Motherhood is not easy. There are expectations but women or a woman should be given liberty to decide if she wants to  adjust to these expectations or wants to create her own rules.

I spent a few days reading and re reading the article and I feel there is a flaw with her major premise which is there is a strong biological impulse drawing a mother to a child. She is basing this on her own reality. Truth be told, I did not have a strong biological or otherwise impulse towards my child. Contrary to ALL the stories people told me, I wasn't the see-your -baby = unending joy kind of mother.  It took me awhile to bond with my child. It doesn't mean I loved him less just that  I wasn't attached and I respect that my reality is not everyone's reality. I have friends who didn't want to be separated from their babies, just as I have friends who struggled to bond with their kids and who were rearing to get back into the work force . Aren't these all women?  And so I call foul on the premise we all have a strong biological impulse. She is also neglecting the women that do not want kids.


I don't  think Feminism asks women to be manly. I think it means women want to have equal rights. In one word, equality. Equality is about respect. The ability to do/be what you want(astronaut, physicist, mechanic, housewife)  and be respected. Yes , it is  more complex but no , it does not require you to be a man. 

My name is Ojuolape and I cannot say this enough, I do not want to be a man.

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