I Do Not Want To Be A Man.

I recently came across this article - Why We Need To Stop Telling Women They Are Equal To Men by Amee Misra. You know me naa, I jumped right in. I totally get her and I understand where she is coming from.I agree women should be told about realities. Motherhood is not easy. There are expectations but women or a woman should be given liberty to decide if she wants to  adjust to these expectations or wants to create her own rules.

I spent a few days reading and re reading the article and I feel there is a flaw with her major premise which is there is a strong biological impulse drawing a mother to a child. She is basing this on her own reality. Truth be told, I did not have a strong biological or otherwise impulse towards my child. Contrary to ALL the stories people told me, I wasn't the see-your -baby = unending joy kind of mother.  It took me awhile to bond with my child. It doesn't mean I loved him less just that  I wasn't attached and I respect that my reality is not ev…

3 years and counting.....

I am a few days from my wedding anniversary and not surprising I have been thinking a lot about it. How do I feel about it? What have I learnt? Is it perfect? Am I happy?
These are some of the questions that have crossed my mind. Of course in between changing a diaper and chasing the little one about.

Some of the questions have pretty straightforward answers. Yes, I am happy and No, it is not perfect. But it works. We work.  We are learning to work as a team.This is all cliché stuff, I know. But it has to be said.
Marriage is a LOT of work. No be small thing. Its a daily something. No back burner things. You have to be in it to win it.
That said,(phew.... I hate saying common things), what advice has been most helpful to me since I got married. 2 tips hunt me in marriage , ok actually 3. lucky you, I will be sharing them.

1. There is no model for a marriage. Yes , I said it. There is no set way couples should deal with a problem. Even when it is the exact same problem. We are all di…

Why Stooping to Conquer sucks

I recently read a post on one of my favorite. columns Yanga on TNC. Read here.
I commented on that post but I think it's worthy of a rejoinder or reply. Stooping to conquer is one of the oldest tricks in the book. At least the book of housewives. It's basically doing something you wouldn't ordinarily do or agreeing with something while keeping the end goal in mind.
So a simple example in a marriage setting might be cooking really delicious meals in hopes that your husband will see why he should add more money to housekeeping money. Or even having sex in his favorite position  because you know that's a good time to sneak in a request he wouldn't normally agree to.
A work example would be joining the team for after hours drinks even though you would much rather go home and cuddle with le beau. The after hour drinks allows social networking and you do it in hopes that when promotion time comes around, you are the 1st pick.
In truth, these are tried and tested methods…

The Simple Matter of Legacy

There is a very popular book titled the seven habits of highly effective people. In this book Stephen Covey aims to teach the individual how to thrive and accomplish goals and objectives. Whatever that might be.  But I choose to focus on one of the habits for this article. Point 2 - start as you mean to end. So this is the exercise, if you died today- what would be remembered about you? What would your eulogy say about you? What would be on your headstone? Write your eulogy,I dare you. Are you happy with it? What was your legacy?
And that right there is my point. Do you aspire to be more? I mean besides making money. Do you want to leave a mark in time? Touch a life or two?
So, what I am asking is what do you want to achieve with this life? if everyone is given a purpose or gift, what do you think yours is and what are you doing about it? I honestly believe everyone is passionate about something. Something besides their immediate lives. It might not seem like a big thing to you but …

Truly The Show Must Go On

I tried. I really tried to avoid disscusing Toke Makinwa's personal life. No matter if the person is a celebrity, I feel its important to remember they are humans first and have feelings.
So why did I break my code on this issue? Because of Toke's vlog. It was titled the show must go on and she talked about dealing with trials in your life.
Indeed, I really just wanted to openly say to her. Toke you handled this with class. You didn't deny or even discuss. You just spoke as a person going through trials and didn't evade it. You also used it as a teachable moment without spewing insults or venom.
Much respect. I salute!

My Love Affair

My love affair started a few months back. It started as with all affairs, when we started communicating. It crept up on me. I wasn't even aware it was happening. This relationship which seemed untenable in the beginning. Was turning into something more. You were slowly becoming the best part of my day. Yes, it was still overwhelming and a lot of work but I had hit the sweet part. When you smile at me, it is such sweet joy. You literally light up my world.
Okay, enough gushing already. Let's just say it was surprising. The early days were not easy. I was with you the whole day and didn't feel loved. Didn't feel wanted. I felt used. Felt like no one really cared. But like with most things it got better. We evolved and now, we are one. I know this won't last forever but I cherish each moment. Each kiss, every simple hug and I love your laugh most of all.

Happy May day

Happy May day folks. Its officially the fifth month in the year 2015. Have you given up on your new year resolutions? Please don't. I believe its not the so much the individual steps but the whole journey. So yea, you might take 1 or 2 steps back or might stop on the journey. Pick up courage and keep moving. Persistence is its own reward.Happy Workers Day and let's keep the dream alive. Cheers.....