3 years and counting.....
I am a few days from my wedding anniversary and not surprising I have been thinking a lot about it. How do I feel about it? What have I learnt? Is it perfect? Am I happy?
These are some of the questions that have crossed my mind. Of course in between changing a diaper and chasing the little one about.
Some of the questions have pretty straightforward answers. Yes, I am happy and No, it is not perfect. But it works. We work. We are learning to work as a team.This is all cliché stuff, I know. But it has to be said.
Marriage is a LOT of work. No be small thing. Its a daily something. No back burner things. You have to be in it to win it.
That said,(phew.... I hate saying common things), what advice has been most helpful to me since I got married. 2 tips hunt me in marriage , ok actually 3. lucky you, I will be sharing them.
1. There is no model for a marriage. Yes , I said it. There is no set way couples should deal with a problem. Even when it is the exact same problem. We are all different and complex beings. Why would you assume that what works for Amina will work for Ope. It does not work like that. No two marriages are alike. So, know your partner, know how best to handle them and how to approach them.You and your partner decide what works for you and ignore everyone. Even family.
2. There are times to talk and times to be silent. This was said to us by a pastor and he was right. Not everything needs to be said immediately. Honestly. I know some people find it hard to hold their tongues sha. Its not an easy but I think it has helped me. There are times where he sef knows I held my tongue. We both eventually calm down and talk about things like 2 adults.
3. This is an oldie but a goodie and ties in with the 2nd point. Pick your battles. This can not be overstated. I remember who said this to me. A dear friend - O.A. She said - no be everything you go vex, some things you go look carry face but others you draw your line and stand your ground. It worked and still works. Marriage is difficult enough before everything turns to battle field. I mean, I get irritated by the littlest things. If I was to vex everytime, hmmmmmm let's just call it world war 3. Or maybe a cold war.
That's it folks. My nuggets, or what has worked for me. Thank you for taking the time out to read my post.
Before I forget, a quick shout out to my partner for putting up with my "ijogbon". I know I have plenty. You will keep growing from strength to strength and God will grant you the patience you need to keep us alive. Amen.
I would like to leave you with a nice quote I came across;
Laters people.
Please drop your tips/comments/feedback below.
These are some of the questions that have crossed my mind. Of course in between changing a diaper and chasing the little one about.
Some of the questions have pretty straightforward answers. Yes, I am happy and No, it is not perfect. But it works. We work. We are learning to work as a team.This is all cliché stuff, I know. But it has to be said.
Marriage is a LOT of work. No be small thing. Its a daily something. No back burner things. You have to be in it to win it.
That said,(phew.... I hate saying common things), what advice has been most helpful to me since I got married. 2 tips hunt me in marriage , ok actually 3. lucky you, I will be sharing them.
1. There is no model for a marriage. Yes , I said it. There is no set way couples should deal with a problem. Even when it is the exact same problem. We are all different and complex beings. Why would you assume that what works for Amina will work for Ope. It does not work like that. No two marriages are alike. So, know your partner, know how best to handle them and how to approach them.You and your partner decide what works for you and ignore everyone. Even family.
2. There are times to talk and times to be silent. This was said to us by a pastor and he was right. Not everything needs to be said immediately. Honestly. I know some people find it hard to hold their tongues sha. Its not an easy but I think it has helped me. There are times where he sef knows I held my tongue. We both eventually calm down and talk about things like 2 adults.
3. This is an oldie but a goodie and ties in with the 2nd point. Pick your battles. This can not be overstated. I remember who said this to me. A dear friend - O.A. She said - no be everything you go vex, some things you go look carry face but others you draw your line and stand your ground. It worked and still works. Marriage is difficult enough before everything turns to battle field. I mean, I get irritated by the littlest things. If I was to vex everytime, hmmmmmm let's just call it world war 3. Or maybe a cold war.
That's it folks. My nuggets, or what has worked for me. Thank you for taking the time out to read my post.
Before I forget, a quick shout out to my partner for putting up with my "ijogbon". I know I have plenty. You will keep growing from strength to strength and God will grant you the patience you need to keep us alive. Amen.
I would like to leave you with a nice quote I came across;
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make–not just on your wedding day, but over and over again–and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
– Barbara de Angelis
– Barbara de Angelis
Laters people.
Please drop your tips/comments/feedback below.
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