Having 'IT' all......

 The greatest problem with the feminist movement is that WE(the women, as a collective) don't know or can't agree on what we want- Anonymous

I have watched with amusement for the most part, this ongoing battle in the media about Sheryl Sandberg's book and organisation - Lean In. Like with most things, there are those that agree with her and those that don't. The interesting thing is how vocal these people(women,of course) have been , throwing couched insults. Now, the discourse has moved to how come women trash other women. The dark side of sisterhood blah blah. This is besides the point. And honestly, if this is what feminism is about, count me out.



The great idea behind feminism, is being able to have 'IT' all. But I think the point is, we never really sat down to define what 'IT' means. Some people want to work, have successful careers and  be there for their family. I think that's what 'IT' has come to stand for. Work-life balance, without having to choose.But I think what we fail to realize is that this concept of 'IT' doesn't hold true for all women.For some women, its family and nothing else.For others, its their career and for some, its both. I think we would move forward in this feminism thing when we realize not everybody wants the work-life balance. They however, want the right to choose and not be frowned on. To pursue their careers and be taken seriously. To not be deterred by barriers or gender stereotypes. Or frowned on for choosing career over family.

This also swings the other way. Women need to learn to accept stay at home dads. If we are indeed pushing for it all, then they(men) should have the opportunity too, to choose.They should be encouraged and supported like we would our fellow women and not frowned on.
These gender stereo types are what lead to the stay at home mum and hard working dad syndrome. We(men and women) need to stop perpetuating these stereotypes. We need to let people be happy to be people. So if in a family, the man is more maternal and likes to be with the kids and the mother is career driven , then we should learn to let them be.If that is what truly makes them happy.  For them- that is having 'IT' all.