Just Saying

I was passing by on bbm when a friend's update referred me to her new post on Bella Naija. Please read here . It is a story about a girl and her male friend. He likes her, she doesn't have the same feelings. She goes visiting and he tries to sleep with her. In all honesty it wasn't the story that amazed me. It was the comments. Kai, some people showed how desperate they are. A lot of people wondering why she went to visit if she wasn't interested in the guy. Others proclaiming she had thrown away a potential husband. Really!!!!! As in REALLY!!!! So, we are at the level where we accept anyone that is male just because of marriage!!! No words can explain how maddening this is to me. The guy claimed to be in a relationship, promised they wouldn't share a bed and claimed he would make no advances. All these statements went out the window. What didn't the guy do, short of rape and yet, he is a potential husband?  I give up! 

I meant to comment on my facebook page but realized it was too long. I need to start with some context. I was trolling fb and saw  a link to a friend's website. She is into beauty and I think she has done tremendously well for herself. Starting a business, growing her brand and expanding into closely related areas. I checked out her profile and it read thus - My name is________. wife, mother,doctor,blah ,blah , blah. My 1st reaction was.... Ewwww. What does wife and mother have to do with anything. I have always disliked this trend of introducing oneself as a wife and mother. I don't get it. Before you bite my head off, here are my reasons; 1. If you are selling me a lawn mower,what does your marital status have to do with it? or does your lawn mower only mow marital grass? I mean really?? I believe if your business isn't marriage or child related then why mention it? It doesn't make your product sell faster or make your business more high profile. It's all just v...

 The greatest problem with the feminist movement is that WE(the women, as a collective) don't know or can't agree on what we want- Anonymous I have watched with amusement for the most part, this ongoing battle in the media about Sheryl Sandberg's book and organisation - Lean In. Like with most things, there are those that agree with her and those that don't. The interesting thing is how vocal these people(women,of course) have been , throwing couched insults. Now, the discourse has moved to how come women trash other women. The dark side of sisterhood blah blah. This is besides the point. And honestly, if this is what feminism is about, count me out. The great idea behind feminism, is being able to have 'IT' all. But I think the point is, we never really sat down to define what 'IT' means. Some people want to work, have successful careers and  be there for their family. I think that's what 'IT' has come to stand for....

I was going to share a story about the pressure a friend was getting from her folks about marriage. But decided maybe I should make this interesting and ask people to share some of the more 'interesting' comments they have received about why they are unmarried. Also interesting schemes you've heard or experienced concerning marriage. please no- she got pregnant stories. they have been played out. Thanks I'll start this off with a few. Please drop yours in the comment box - Have you graduated with your MRS degree yet? - During a prayer session- God if she has used her husband to do 'ako' in the past. Lord, forgive her. Please let him come back. - Hasn't prince Charming showed up yet? Will add more as I think of them...

I have a pretty simple question. Why does a woman/man become a mistress? I mean, ignoring or putting aside the socio-economic reason that is touted most times. How satisfying is it really to have a man/woman that is only there half the time,if it's even up to half.  Someone you can't call at the drop off the hat. Can only provide you with their full attention once in awhile and can walk out on you or deny you whenever. I mean, you can't possibly show off this person. For all you Instagram addicts, you can't put up pictures of you and this 'special person'. You definitely can't 'loud' this relationship. So, in some ways,as my sister puts it - it's a hole in the corner affair. Well, I think there must be some kind of thrill for these people. It's the same way an addict gets high. They enjoy the thrill of a new relationship. One that only 'they' know about. They pretend in public but get 'high' in private. They discover...

Following my earlier posts about relationships and finding a 'life partner', decided to do some research and come up with interesting relationship facts. I plan to unveil relationship facts that could help someone out there. Please I just call them facts. That does NOT make them so. Remember there is no road map to this thing called relationships. Its a very individual thing. SO here's hoping I keep you all entertained and coming back to read more. Please feel free to drop your comments below. Thanks    #FACT 1 One of the most important relationships in any individuals' life is the relationship between their parents. The way a child sees his/her parents interact serves as a back bone for almost every other relationship the child has. And this doesn't just apply to romantic involvements. It also colours our other relationships -siblings, friends, colleagues  even with your boss. This does not mean a child from a home where the parents are divorced will ...

Hi everyone, came across this article( 10 things never to say to singles )  and I think it's a must read for people who feel inclined to ask about their single friends relationships. Some may seem like no brainers but sometimes we just don't put enough thought into how we come across. Mainly cause we care but that isn't really an excuse. Guess the more important question is which do we value more- the friend or her/his love life? While we are on this topic of careless sentences that friends say, I must mention when a friend asked what I was waiting and wasn't with child. Talk about being pushy. I should have issued her the above certificate. Honestly even my mum wasn't that obvious. We(Nigerians) have a culture of 'poke nosing' but we should stop and ask some important questions before letting that statement loose. Questions; - Why do I want to know this? Is it concern or just a need to hear gist? If it's about gist. Hold out. T...